Blessed

It is sometimes hard to even fathom how fast time seems to fly by.  Somehow we manage to go day by day without even recognizing how quickly things pass.  It is already February, and I feel like it got here in the blink of an eye (so I apologize ahead of time for the length of this post, but I haven't been able to write in a while now!  Oops!).

We have been extremely busy (although, I feel like that isn't something new in our life).  I have gone through moments of feeling completely defeated over the last several weeks, but my children, and the amazing girls that they are, always seem to lift the weight of "life" off of my shoulders at just the right time.

Taleigha has yet again made incredible progress over the last few weeks.  I am so excited and so very proud to say that she has now learned how to get into a standing position without the help of a stationary item.  She can actually get from sitting to standing all on her own!!!  I can't help but get tears of joy as I watch her strength as she does this.  Just since the middle of January... the progress is just so monumental for her.  It's still a very new development for her, but she's doing it more and more each day.  She has also made a lot of effort lately in trying to speak.  Her main forms of communicating right now is through sign language and just simply pointing to things, but we can tell that she is really trying to make new sounds and form more words!  She even shocked us all when she blurted out "Bubble" as Daddy was blowing bubbles in the house last week!  She then followed that with a sound, "pop" as she would make those silly bubbles disappear!!  Again, I am just so proud of her, for all that she does.

We finally received a phone call from the specialist regarding Taleigha's sleep study that was done in December.  (There may have been a fairly demanding phone call that prompted this call, but I was so tired of playing that waiting game.  I had called numerous times without receiving a call back, so my patience was running low.  I just wanted some answers.  I didn't go through that sleep study to sit here without one.)  The doctor did explain that there was no sign of any medical reasons that would cause Taleigha to have such severe sleep disturbances (ex: heart problems, breathing problems etc), which is obviously a good thing.  However, at the same time, it does make it a bit difficult to "pin-point" what may be causing the issues.  She explained, in as simple terms as she could, that it is a very big chance that Taleigha just might not be "wired" the same as a typical child.  It was apparent that she was going through all stages of sleep (one entire sleep cycle) in about an hour or less.  She said that it may be that Taleigha's brain is telling her one thing, while her body is telling her another, making it very difficult to stay asleep.  When Taleigha wakes, it is a very "disturbing" feeling for her and causes a lot of problems.  She could also be dealing with some night terrors as well, but at this point, we aren't sure.  The specialist did suggest/recommend that we would try giving Taleigha a medication that could help her sleep.  She reassured me that it was not supposed to act like a sedative, but just something that could calm her enough to help her stay sleeping, getting restful sleep throughout the night.  She then said something that really struck a cord with me.  There are negative long term affects that Taleigha's sleeping problems could have on her.  Dealing with such severe disturbances nearly every single night could really make things difficult for her.  She could start having increased irritability/moodiness and behavioral issues, difficulty focusing, and could even have decreased developmental progress, to name a few.  

I have to admit, my husband and I were a bit hesitant about using a medication.  Actually, we have been hesitant for quite a while now.  But we knew that we needed to really sit down, get as much information as we possibly could about the medication, and make the best decision we could.  We have done nothing but keep the best interest of Taleigha in mind throughout this journey with the difficulty sleeping, and we needed to stay focused on that fact.  That we wanted the best for TALEIGHA!  I would live the rest of my life without sleep if I thought that it was in Taleigha's best interest to not be put on a medication, because it's not about the sleep I wish I was getting (However, I have to be completely honest, even though I said, and whole heartedly mean, that I literally would go without sleep for the rest of my life if that's what I needed to do, it has been the hardest aspect of my life to deal with.  I know that the sleep deprivation that I have experienced over the last 2 1/2 years has really started to change me.  It's taken it's toll, and that, I believe, is an understatement for what it has done to me.  I want more than anything to get the "Brittany" that I used to be back.  I want that, because I want to be the best for my two precious girls, and I cannot stress that enough!)  Once we sat down and really discussed this entire issue, we realized that a medication may very well be what is best for her afterall... for us... for several reasons really.  One: I completely agree, and see now, that there really are negative affects that sleep deprivation could have on Taleigha.  Two: It really isn't in the best interest of Taleigha (or Taelyn, for that matter) to have a Mommy that is so sleep deprived that she can barely function each day.  They don't deserve that.  They deserve to have restful sleep themselves, and to have a Mommy that is well rested, so that we can fully enjoy each new day.

Okay... So we made the jump!  We decided to go for it and try the medication!!  Yay!  A decision was finally made, and we were feeling confident about it.  Well, we went to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled, only to find out that there is not a single distributor in our entire area that has this medication available.  Therefore, we now have to wait things out... again, and try to get some answers on where to go from here, because we cannot get the prescription locally at all.  Wouldn't that just be our luck?!  I guess we will be making a lot of phone calls to figure this out.  Until then, my patience has to stay strong!

And, as always, there is no way that I could go without talking about my little munchkin, Taelyn.  She has just been making me giggle non-stop lately.  We now say "Smile Tae!" and she makes the goofiest face, with a crinkled up nose and squinty eyes, and her little "toofers" sticking out!

Yes, This is her "smile" for Mommy!

 It's so wonderful to see her personality shine throughout each day.  I was just looking back at some pictures from the day that she was born, and as I sit here feeling like that was just yesterday, I am reminded by a precious little voice, that time is going quickly and she has grown up so fast.  She's an angel!  I just can't say this enough, she makes my life that much brighter because she is in it!

  

I am so blessed!  

I am so so blessed!